My Booty-Guard???

Dear Comrade William,

I am really hurt at the passing of our beautiful sister Whitney Houston. I am in profound pain. She was such an inspiration to me. Now I can't get out of bed because of my pain. She has inspired me to follow in her footsteps, so now I need for you to wire me $5 to help me get my crack thing on, my brother,  to follow her grand example. Western Union. Brooklyn, New York. Okay?

Right now,  I'm trying to get a part in a movie with a white action actress who saves me. She can be my "Booty-Guard" in the movie, although she's really bothersome. But I can fall in love with her anyway. Feel me? I have found my purpose in life, thanks to Whitney Houston's demise. I'll even go to church and I won't steal nothing. I swear!

I hope I get the major role in that moive, for I have been dreamimg to follow sister Houston. So, even though you're a Marxist, please "pray" for me... and hurry wire the $5 because my crack pipe broke.

GOD BLESS AMERICA,  MUTHA-FUKAHS! OBAMA 2012!
PORKY CAPERS LIVES!