Thursday, May 29, 2014

Why her jelly shook...Celebrating Buttzilla (1980-2014)

Dear Comrade Sekou:

Buttzilla Timbuktu (1980-2014)
I am quite afraid that while many Black people are uncontrollably distraught over the death of the Black poetess Maya Angelou they may overlook an equally significant recent passing of an African American artists and activist. Of course, I am talking about Buttzilla Timbuktu. She died last night in Crown Heights, apparently the victim of acute beef patty overdose. Let me share a little about why Buttzilla will be remembered as a giant of modern-day Black culture.

Buttzilla Timbuktu, born Neecy Jenkins in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, was always outstanding. At nine months of age, she already weighed 75 pounds. She was a very special student, skipping elementary and most of junior high school because there were no classroom seats to suit her. She dropped out of high school, but that did not discourage her hunger for attention, which she readily received wherever she went.

At 25, Buttzilla met Rev. Al Sharpton. She joined the National Action Network (NAN). Impressed with her outgoing personality and her way of attracting men to the organization, Rev. Sharpton appointed her the head of the Irvington, New Jersey chapter of NAN. She remained as chairperson for three years until the chapter was converted to a slot machine hall. But she continued her political pilgrim's progress by developing an insatiable appetite for bean pies. One night, during a bean pie eating binge, Neecy Jenkins found her true African American National Identity and adopted the name Buttzilla Timbuktu, in honor of the Motherland and her wholesome pastries.

One afternoon, while shopping for bathroom tissue at the Atlantic Terminal Pathmark, Butzilla was discovered by the famed artistic producer Fart Pappy Corncob. That is when her career as a pioneering Black cultural icon began. She quickly found herself garnering leading roles in numerous novelty rap videos. She was best known for her twerking performance in Dimwit Green Teeth's groundbreaking film RUBBER BOOTY. But her star really took to the heavens through her appearance in Hoghead Toejam's three-hour epic BITCH, 'HO, MUTHAFUKIN, BITCH, 'HO. Of that performance, the New York Times critics raged, "Vulgar. Loud. Stupid..." The New York Post added, "Broadway bound!..." And the New York Amsterdam News continued, "Butzilla Timbuktu is a Revolutionary Black genius whom we hope will never forget our enthusiastic praise by remembering to buy advertising in the Black press."

Visionary cultural leader
Butzilla, after conquering the screen, turned to literature. She became a poet. Her inspiring collection of blank verse, I KNOW WHY MY JELLY SHAKES, became an instant sensation, selling hundreds of copies on curbside book tables across Brooklyn. In the book, she proudly explains:

My jelly shakes,
freely willed,
loose and obscene,
and lusted in the 'hood,
by homeys up to no-good.
And on the subway,
my jelly shakes,
shakes on me good...

Buttzilla Timbuktu enjoyed a large and loyal following among young and morbidly obese Black women. They saw her as a political and cultural role model. Said Sheneekwa Mathis, president of the Buttzilla Timbuktu Literary Circle, upon hearing of her idol's demise today, "When Buttzilla arrived at our meetings the room shook and swayed. It was emotion and basic physics. She left a trail of busted sofas across the Tri-State region. We will miss her. But we can all take comfort in knowing that we can all be like Buttzilla. And we probably will."

So, please, Comrade Sekou, don't let the TV and the politicians slight or ignore our sister Buttzilla's contribution to the community. And don't listen to Comrade William either. He just doesn't like Black women. Let us celebrate the legacy of Sister Buttzilla Timbuktu.


Mofarrakhana Jackson

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